Ok. Fine

--Referral in for new OB.  Likely hospital I deliver at will be 1 hour and 45 minutes away.

--Talk of scheduled induction because of distance from hospital. 

--Talk of scheduled C-section because of extraordinarily small chance of tumor secreting hormones and a hypertensive crisis happening. 


(Neither are options with which I'm particularly thrilled. If this is what is needed to get baby here safely though, we'll go with it. I'm just tired of Tomas getting to call all the shots and change all the game plans. I KNOW that if Mom and baby come through labor and delivery safely that's all that matters. But I'm tired of having my expectations thwarted and my plans tweaked and retweaked and tweaked again because of a thing in my neck that I didn't invite.)

--Not so comforting, "We're expecting everything to be straight-forward with your delivery, but just in case we need you at a hospital equipped with an ICU," discussion.  Ok.  Fine.

--Cold which seems to want to develop into sinus infection or bronchitis, keeps me from sleeping well at night.  Makes me feel like crap during the day too.  At least it's not as bad as it was over the weekend.

--Rough couple of Mommy days with kiddos pushing boundaries and practicing their howling skills (and not the howling skills needed for Halloween).

Ok.  Fine.  None of it is a big deal.  None of it is huge....  But all of it is wearying.

I'm feeling a bit discouraged to tell the truth. 

This too shall pass and I'll put on my big girl panties and deal with all of it.  Because...  well:  what other choice do I have? 

But right now, in the thick of it, I'm tired, and I don't feel well, and the little things of life seem out of control, and the big things of life seem even more out of control.  And I'm just feeling a little discouraged about it all. 

"O God, Thy Sea is so big and my boat is so small," so goes the prayer.

And I'll add what my good friend Piglet says, "It's a little anxious to be a very small animal entirely surrounded by water."