Really, Really, Really, Really Good News! REALLY!!!

16 months ago I was told I had a tumor on my Carotid artery.

8 months later, I had surgery and I thought I would feel relieved because my tumor was gone.

Except I found out at the same time about this nodule on my other carotid artery.  A nodule that I was told was 'definitely something.'  And I tried not to freak out.  And I tried to be happy, but I had this shadow of fear and dread about having to do the whole thing all over again.

Four months later I got the news that I didn't have the SDHD or SDHB mutation.  And I was amazed and taken aback and confused because...  I had another nodule and it just didn't make sense.  And I tried to be happy.  But I had this other nodule, which I was sure was another tumor.  I asked people 'what else could this be?' and I never got a satisfactory answer.  All seemed to point to this being another tumor.

A week and a half ago I met doctors on this side of the country that I loved.  And I was happy about that, but revisiting that dread feeling because...  I had a nodule.  And what else could it be?  And I was going to have to do it all over again.....

Tonight.  Tonight one of those wonderful docs from UW called.  She said she'd reviewed the scans I had earlier this week.

She said she had some news about that nodule....

That nodule she said...  Doesn't appear to be a paraganglioma.  

That nodule she said is most likely NOT a tumor.

It appears to be a lymph node.  A NORMAL lymph node.

She waited for me to cheer and get excited or at least sound happy, but all I could say was, "Are you sure?  And...  Do I need to be worried about this lymph node?"

And then I got a little happy.

And then I hung up the phone.

And now I am looking at Andrew in glee and disbelief and yelling at random intervals, "I DON'T HAVE A TUMOR!!!!!"

And for the first time...  For the first time in 16 months.  That feeling of dread has lifted.  And while I am still maintaining an attitude of cautious optimism....  And while I want to have this corroborated by the NIH....  And while I will still need follow up likely for the rest of my life....

For the first time in 16 months, I go to sleep out from under the shadowy spectre of a Tumor named Tomas....

The journey isn't over, but the burden has lifted.  And I am so happy.



As a post script, I just have to mention how sad I am to learn of the death of Steve Jobs.  Steve's cancer, like paraganglioma, was a neuroendocrine tumor.  It was a NET arising in the pancreas.  These tumors and diseases are so slippery and I am sad that he gave his life in the fight.  My news tonight is good, but it just as easily could have gone the other way.  I add my condolences to his family and I pray that they would be comforted in this loss.